Listen Close
by StillNear
Summary: You have my secret. Lock it tight, and let it eat you alive.
1. lean in

_I don't own Bleach._

_A little bit longer this time. Whoo._

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**_"welcome home, karin. did you have a nice day?"_**

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Karin finds him at her spot.

It's an old highway that barely anybody uses.

But Karin knows that it has the best view in the city.

He's sitting on one of the railing posts, one leg dangling above the endless space below.

This is the first time she sees him.

She notices his oddly colored hair.

She deduces his icy demeanor.

She looks into his calculating eyes that hold sights he never wanted to see.

"Hey. You thinking about jumping?" He glares at her remark. "I've never seen you around," Karin starts.

"I just moved," he answers distantly.

She takes his reply as an invitation to move closer.

Karin rests on the next column and hazardously curls both her legs close to her chest.

"Hey, isn't that-" the boy begins to warn.

"I want to die," she says easily.

The weather's nice.

The sun is hot.

I want to die.

Turquoise orbs widen, but before he can even react further, a laugh is heard.

"Don't worry; I won't jump. It seems like I don't have enough confidence to do that," Karin smirks to his face.

"It doesn't take confidence. That's the coward's way out," he bites back bitterly.

"You think so?" He doesn't respond, and he doesn't ask her about anything either. Her issues are her issues, he believes, and he himself has enough on his plate.

Karin turns her attention to the sunset. Shades of red, orange, purple faze the sky. She considers sunsets her safety net; she watches them everyday to see the little beauty in this world.

It's a cold, cold place here, but sunsets seem to warm it up just a bit.

Once the show is over _(because everything ends)_, Karin introduces herself while the artificial illumination turn on.

"I'm Karin. And you?"

"Toshiro."

"Liking the city so far, 'Shiro?" His eyebrows furrow at the sound of the nickname, but he doesn't correct her.

"It's fine." His voice is gruff and curt.

"Where did you move from?"

"Somewhere far away."

"Oh. Why did you move here?"

"I'm in between stuff."

"Do you have anybody here?"

There's a short pause. "Yes."

"That's good," Karin approves. "The lights look nice, don't they? Too bad you can't see the stars. Too much pollution." She smiles wistfully.

"You come here often?" He raises a perfect eyebrow.

"Everyday for three years. This was my spot."

"Was?"

"It's ours now. I can share. Well, I'm gonna get home. Don't stay out too long. It gets cold, but I guess you're a big kid now," Karin grins.

"I'm nineteen," Toshiro grumbles.

"Out of high school? Well, I'll be out in a year myself. See you tomorrow, yeah?"

She walks away without hearing a return. She doesn't expect one, and she thinks she doesn't quite have enough patience needed to wait.

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_Listen Close_

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This time, Karin is first.

Toshiro doesn't know what makes him come back the next day.

"You came," she smiles at him. A sad, little smile.

It's sad because she knows he's just like her.

And being like her isn't a good way to be.

Truth is, he thought about skipping out, maybe finding another spot to think, just to spite the strange girl, but something stopped him.

"You didn't think I would?" Toshiro inquires.

"I didn't know what to expect."

"Doesn't anybody worry about you, out here all alone?"

"No," Karin looks off to the great scene in front of them, and a piercing wind blows through, but she doesn't flinch at all. She seems to contemplate his question once more before reiterating, "No, not really."

He doesn't probe. Whatever she wants to say, she can say it, but Toshiro doesn't want to pry.

Everybody has their load they have to carry.

The rest of the afternoon carries on into the night with heavy sighs and wishful thinking.

They part without much to say.

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_It's starting out slow, but stay with me for awhile. And something about these two makes me want to write in present-tense._


	2. come closer

_I don't own Bleach._

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**_"try your best, karin. that's all you can do."_**

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"You have any family, 'Shiro?" Karin asks one day. It was curiosity, really, mutual on both parts. Even though Toshiro initially didn't want to nosy, he begins to wonder about her, gradually forgetting about his own troubles in the process.

_(Still, Toshiro knows he'll never truly forget those lifeless eyes.)_

Why does she sit like she's half-ready to fall down the cliff?

Why does she keep smiling with melancholy etched in her eyes and mouth?

Not that he can voice out his concern.

Toshiro was always aloof. Before and after.

After a few weeks of silent company, a mysterious bond that none of them could explain had been created, and both of them wanted to stop being morose acquaintances with a common shade of sorrow.

"My foster sister. I met her when I was in the system. I'm staying with her right now."

"You thinking about going back to your old town?"

"No. Not yet."

"Well, if you ever decide to leave, tell me, okay? I'm gonna miss having someone watching the sunsets with me." Another wave of quietness passed by before Karin decides to divulge just a bit. "You know..." A pregnant pause. "My sister, my twin. She died on this day. Three years ago."

Toshiro doesn't say anything, and Karin continues like he isn't even there.

"She died right here. This highway. Goat Chin drove right off this road when another car came at him. My dad, he was in a coma. He wasn't going to wake up. We let him go a couple of months after. My brother is in college. I live alone most of the time," she chuckles at her unfortunate situation because there just aren't any tears left. "And I... want to die."

Icy arms suddenly encircle her torso.

_(She didn't really expect him to be warm, anyway.)_

Karin hugs him back, an awkward hug, she thinks.

And there isn't a word said - they weren't ones who were good with words - but that's okay.

They're just broken and battered and _lonely_ people who are trying to live their lives one day at a time.

The sun disappears below the horizon, and they both know they have succeeded for the day.

Toshiro lets go, and Karin smiles at him before getting up and walking away.

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Listen

Close

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"My best friend was murdered by her boyfriend," Toshiro reveals two days later.

_(It took two days for him to gather enough resolve. He knows that once he tells her, it's done.)_

"You loved her," Karin states. It wasn't meant to be a question. Toshiro nods.

"I loved her," he echoes. "And I was the one who found her body. I went here to get away. I was running. I _am_ running."

"I don't think you're running," Karin amends eventually. "I think you're just trying to move on. Yuzu was my special person. I loved her more than anything. It's been three years. Maybe it's time I should try to move on too..."

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_**Maybe You'll Hear It**_

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Toshiro doesn't see her the next afternoon, and he's worried.

She didn't... give up? Did she?

Was that her twisted way of moving on?

Toshiro scours the city to find the girl who changed his world.

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After an hour, he finds her in an abandoned lot kicking a ball around.

"Toshiro? What are you-" Karin is surprised to see him.

"This... was where you were?" He's breathing hard because he ran the whole time.

"Um, yeah." Toshiro releases a breath he doesn't know he's been holding. "Are you alright?"

"Just fine," the boy rubs the back of his head nonchalantly, but Karin smirks.

"You were worried." Toshiro rolls his eyes, but doesn't argue.

"You're playing... soccer," he looks at the ball with a foreign expression.

"Yeah," she dribbles it absently. "I quit when Yuzu died, but I think I'm gonna pick it up again. You gave me back my confidence."

Toshiro isn't all sure if that's a good thing.

"Can you play?"

"A little," Toshiro shrugs.

"Really? Wanna have a quick match?"

"Sure."

Toshiro wins, but Karin put up a good fight.

She complains how he lied when he said he can only play a little, and Toshiro gives himself an excuse.

Twilight.

And then dusk.

The sun dims without them knowing, and they're content.

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_Can't forget the soccer._


End file.
